Trip Report – Las Vegas, NV

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Day 1 (Saturday night):

Saturday early evening, our cab pulls up to the lobby of MGM Grand. The reception area is unreal. We check in and take 30 minutes to find our elevator at the west wing (lost in the casino and shopping areas). Our room is pretty cool. Very dark and modern. Normal size, but aside from our NYC hotel, the nicest room I’ve been in (and I think it was one of their basic king rooms). Next we hit the strip. It’s already dark outside and the 36 degrees hits us pretty hard, but its dry and I don’t sweat my shirt off. We walk a few blocks up and check out several hotel/casinos. The little Mexicans handing out hooker cards are everywhere. Timeshare scammers are everywhere (more of that to come later). We play some slots, grab some BL Lime (a new drink on my list of fav’s) and walk for a few hours. We find Serendipity 3 outside of Caesars Palace and have a late dinner (we ate at the original Serendipity 3 in NYC two years ago). The Bellagio fountain show is sort of cool. The M&M and Coke stores are cool. The hotels are too big to describe (the MGM has around 20 restaurants, 5 Starbucks, a few theatres and clubs, a CBS studio, and a huge shopping area.

 Day 2 (Sunday):

Mothers Day. Ev hits the spa for a massage. I hit the slots and lose some money. I want to play the tables, but too cheap for the MGM’s $15 minimum bets. Ev finishes up and we hit the pool area. Its forty degrees. The pool is unreal. 5 huge rectangular pools, and a big river with waterfalls and a current. We lay down for 15 minute increments then float the river for a ten minute lap. There are nerdy drunk guys close to our loungers that yell “MON-OH-RAIL” every time the monorail goes by (like every 5 minutes). I want to hit the drunkest youngest skinny one with blonde hair. We have lunch at the poolside café and experience the best (Mediterranean Chicken) salad one has ever eaten. After two hour we are burned because of our lotioning. We change and hit up the ‘Tix4Tonight’ booth outside the Coke store. We score tickets to Cirque de Soliel ‘Mystere’ for half price. We decide to walk to Treasure Island Hotel to pick up the tickets that afternoon. It looks close because it’s so big, but it takes around and hour and a half to get there. On the way we check out Paris (very nice) and The Venetian (also very nice). We consider renting a Corvette for Monday at ‘Dream Car Rentals’. We pick up our tickets for Mystere and decide to take the MON-OH-RAIL back to MGM.  To do this you walk through Harrah’s. This place is old-school Vegas. Cheap gambling and lots of smoke and white trash (Toby Keith has his pub here). The monorail only takes 7 minutes to get back to MGM. We have dinner, get spiffed up and back on the monorail to Treasure Island and Mystere for 9pm. I thought the show was unreal. The story line is very strange. A grown man plays a baby. He wears a diaper and sucks a bottle. The acrobatics was crazy. The live music was great. Monorail back to MGM, walkaround, slots, bedtime.

 Day 3 (Monday):

My birthday. We decided against the Corvette and instead hit the pool for a few hours. Much quieter today. Our lotion skills were better. Next we hit the strip, and check out Excaliber (lame hotel) and Luxor. An annoying timeshare guy tries to scam us. A nice timeshare lady scores and gets us to pay $50 for two Criss Angel ‘Believe’ (Cirque de Soliel) tickets (worth about $70 each), 2 ‘Bodies Exhibit’ tickets (worth $35 each) and a $25 Luxor credit, in exchange for 2 hours of our time (seems like a good deal). Our timeshare tour is scheduled for 9am on Tuesday. We then take a cab to the Hard Rock hotel/casino. That was neat. Then we head to the Palms. We find ourselves at Huntington Ink Tattoo Lounge. Ev tells me to get a tattoo so I do. David creates a traditional hand of cards with my birth year and a skull of course. He tells us Carey Hart is a ‘retard’, but they are going to start filming again in June.

 Day 4 (Tuesday):

Get on the bus at the Luxor. Drive 10 minutes south to a sales Center and meet ‘Scott’ our one-on-one timeshare salesman. He’s really nice, but probably an actor. He shows us family pictures and seems to be interested in us. He has a fish pin on his tie and says he’s a Christian and in the business to save people money on holidays. An hour later he drives us to the actual condo. It’s a nice 5 star. Back to the sales place and we talk numbers. Only $40K for two weeks a year in a 2 bedroom. We say no. Amazingly, he can all of a sudden offer it to us for $25K. No. Then the ‘Inventory Control’ guy comes over and says he just got a deal on a one bedroom for $10K. We say no. Scott says ok, let me take you to the guy who will give you your free gifts. We meet a big happy Hawaiian from ‘corporate’. Instead of gifts, he offers us exactly what Scott offered but for $4K. Poor people who bit on $40K! We say no, get our show tickets and bus back to the strip. We go to ‘Bodies’. Very neat, educational, and morbid. Ev keeps grossing me out by comparing the body parts to food items. We eat Mexican and head back to MGM. We hit the pool for two hours. Clean up and back to Luxor for Criss Angel: Believe. Not recommended. Some cool magic but too much acting and drama and dancing. Back to MGM to pack.

 I’d recommend this trip to anyone. It was a blast. Please don’t take your kids. My wife is awesome. A great birthday present.

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